So lets start with the Bible, I have all ready stated my oppinions on the Bible in one of my rants. Still I'll restate it again. I believe that the Bible is not a set of rules that we must follow or be damned. I believe the Bible is a guide intended to show us how to live happier, healthier lives. Now while I believe that everything in the bible is true, I think that it was inspired buy god, written by man. That means that while the concepts are true, man wrote in terms that his equals would understand, and in terms of the common phsycology of the day. This means that ideas or ways of thinking that were popular at that time of penning those books are reflected in the writting, it doesn't nessicarily mean that god told them to write the exact words that we see today.
Now I also believe that the Bible is not the entire picture of what's going on. Often times when we look at an instruction manule, say for an electronic device we will find how to operate it, and how to take care of it, and some general ideas of how to use it. However We will usually see that if we play with that device long enough we can come up with creative new ways of using it that makes it our own. To me I think it is the same with the Bible, because god knew that these people didn't have much of an context for biology, genetics, diseases, physics or any number of other complex subjects, he didn't include them in the bible because they weren't important to his message. I don't need to know how food born illnesses work to know that handleing a carcass can make me sick. So instead of explaining why handling that dead cow is a bad idea he just told them not to touch it, or how to be come "clean" if they did. Then we did our thing and made that guideline into a law. Also in that sense, I believe that the Bible only holds part of the picture, so i think there are a lot of things that do exist that the bible doesn't talk about because they are not nessicary to the part of the picture that the bible pertains to.
I know that there are things out there that the bible doesn't discuss. Speciffically speaking, I'm talking about the fey. The Bible says that god created every living thing, but it doesn't go into a whole lot of detail about what all those living things were. We assume that god created the dinosaurs, and that they were distroyed in the flood, but the bible doesn't specificly mention them. yet we know that they existed from the fossiliezed remains we've found. In the same since I believe that god created the fey, though what exactly they were intended to be, or what roll they were intended to fill I don't know. I do know however that they exist, and like us, they have changed aswell since the fall. I think perhaps they were intended to be nature spirits so to speak, the embodyment and voice of the flora and fauna of the pre fall world. Condsidering we only have a very faint idea of what our world my have been like pre-fall there could have been even more amazing things that existed.
All right so as I stated I believe that the Bible was intended as a guide to a people really didn't understand how the world around them works, and has served as a history, I don't think that the Bible was ever intended to be used like the catholic church has used it. Namely as the means to securing their power because they felt they had the authority to enact God's justice for him. I don't believe that god ever intended for the Bible to be used that way, and I con only image how it must have felt to see his words twisted, and manipulated like that. Yes god gave us his message in the Bible, but we are free to do with it as we like due to an absolutely amazing concept called free will. I think this is one of the most miss-understood concepts in existance. Think about what that concept means for a moment, and really consider it. I have seen so many people trying to find reasons to ignore freedom of will, so that they can blame god for everything that's wrong. Which bugs me because the blame for why things are the way they are get shifted from our selves and satan, the real culprits, to god simply to demonize him.
The entire basis of what I believe is based around the concept of free will. When Lucifer rebeled against god and got the 1/3rd of the angels to follow him, he attracted those angels by the argument that god was not giving them the freedom to disagree with him dispite God's claims that he was. This was centered around Lucifer's jelousy that God did not consult him when creating the earth, and because of that we got caught up in the middle of the argument. God devised the test that would determine if he really was giving us free will or not, the infamous tree of knowedgle. The idea was not so much to see if we would obey him, although if we had we would not have become the giunee pigs for this test. It was more to see if god would allow us to do what ever we wanted without being forced to to follow his will. However humanity made the choice to eat the fruit and defie god's explicit command, and thus this earth became the battle ground for this argument.
Now that I've explained why I think free will is so important let me say this. While god claims to have given us free will, he did not claim to give us freedom from the responsibilities of our actions. And because Satan hates, because he believes god loves us more then god loves him, I believe that satan has been making this world as horrible as possbile to get back at god, and to try to manipulate him into doing soemthing that would prove he is not giving us free will. Thus a world created in perfection has been forced to de-evolve to the cess pool we currently reside in. However Satan has not been alone in his efforts, we, ourselves have provided him with an enourmous amount of help in his goals. Now while some of the aspects of our nature may have been helped along by satan, I doubt he has to do much at this point to keep us in a state of apathetic chaos. It's like a gift that keeps on giving, we're doing most of the work for him now. Look around at the state of the world right now, and try to tell me that we're not doing it to ourselves.
Now since we were given freedom of will, that means that god can not get directly involved to make us do what he wants with out contradicting his word that he has given us freedom of will. This means that he has to let people become drug addicts or murderes or rapists or do any other action that would cause pain on others because that would restrict that persons freedom of will. It means that god has to let us do the good along with the bad, and that he also has to watch as we have to deal with the painful realities caused by our actions or bliefs. However this does not mean that god is unable to do anything, he can try to guide and direct us, like a sheep dog rounding up a herd. However of one of those sheep chooses to leave the security of the herd, he has to let them go. He can encourage them to stay but he can not make them stay.
Now I think that there is 1 situation where god acted directly because satan had created a situation that could have completely ended this little test before anything had been resolved. I'm talking about sadam and gamoria, the two cities that were completely distroyed by fire from the sky. Lets look for a moment at what the Bible says about these two cities. It calls it a city were there was not even 1 person who had not partaken in some sort of sin. It discribes these cities as corrupt that they would do anything they wanted to sate their greed and lust. So what would this really be like, in terms of biology, socialogy, and such. Well for one thing crime would be off the charts, theft, murder, drug and alcohol related deaths aswell. Second, we know that these people held no reservations reguarding any sexual act, nor did they have any reservations as far as whom they performed these acts with. Lets consider for a moment how quickly disease would have spread in such an environment. Also lets consider the fact that these two town were major trading towns, I believe that is how they gained the power and riches they had. So you have merchants coming through, indulging themselves in the local entertainment. Picking up slaves, quite possibly sex slaves who are then taken all over the known world to serve their new masters. Along with them they brought all of the aspects of their culture, and these diseases. I don't think it's a huge leap in logic to see how this could have ended the human race if action had not been taken.
Now as far the claims that if you are not a Christian you are going to hell...I don't buy it. Think about all the stereotypes reguarding Christianity, these are what uninformed people think of this religion is about. Can you really blame some one for not wanting to get a better picture of something that seems to promote bigotry or racism? I certainly cant, and I don't think God can either. Bascially I don't think that being presented with a misrepresented picture of god, or christianity is any worse then never having even heard of him. I believe god is not so conserned with what a person believes because he knows that when this is over there is going to be plenty of time to set the reord straight. I think he is more concerened with what people's intentions and motivations are. For example if I wish to live my life with the intention of being a better person, then god is able to lend his power and give me the strength to over come my problems, reguardless of what I believe. However some one who's life is driven by greed or lust, is inheirantly refusing god's help. Sort of like how hell is sperated from purgatory in Dante's Divine comedy. The people found in hell, were doing the same things as the people found in purgatory, however the motivations behind their actions were different. Those in hell allowed the distructive actions take controll of their lives, embraced them, and did not care what happened because of them. Yet the people in purgatory were not ruled by them, they wished to be better people, yet still made mistakes as we all do. Which is why I do not think of god as a condeming deity consumed with justice. I see a god that loves me more then I can comprehend, and is looking for any possible means of saving me. He's not looking down at me from some remote corner of the universe, but is right beside me going through everything that I am, trying to guide me.
- Mood:
contemplative
Obviously since this is a goth forum religion is a major hot topic. Of course many of these people can't stand christians and have many mistaken ideas about chrisanity due to stereotypes about christians. Also thanks to this website, I have come to the realisation that Evolution has progressed being science into the realm of religion. Now I know that a lot of people will disagree with me, and boy did that idea not sit well with the people who blindly ascribe to evolution on this website. However they just couldn't seem to understand how many massive leaps of faith they were making in order to assume that it's is fact instead of a theory that does have a lot of evidence behind it. (and yes I know I'm using the word theory incorrectly here, but I'm not writting this for scientists, I'm writting this for myself who is not a scientist.) They refused to understand how fluid human thought is, and choose to ignore the trends reguarding scientific thought for the last several hundred years. They choose to call me paranoid for notice trends in the scientific world, that mirror trends preceeding dark times in our history. And of course they refused to even consider every peice of evidence that I've heard of that supports the idea of a short chronology...(not creationism, but a short chronology....I know that most evolutionary scientists cant see a difference between those two things, but I do.)
I have always had an issue with the creation vs evolution debate. Mainly because the logical side of my brain likes the idea of evolution, but the emotional part of my brain can not let go of my christian beliefs. So for nearly 8 years bnow a debate has raged in my head between evolution and christianity. It is fueld by the mud slinging, botched science, and unethical actions of all sides involved. (and I do mean all sides, so far I haven't seen a single side of this debate that has not used the same tatics, which rarely actually seem to include science.) I had hoped that by discussing these topics I would be able to get a better understanding of it and learn the why and how scientists could put so much faith into this theory. I was hoping that these people could teach, and inreturn help me to understand the ramifications of evidence that doesn't appear to support evolution. However when they figured out that I don't believe in it, it turned into a lets make spider feel stupid fest, even when I was begging for help understanding, they refused to listen. 8 years to have a debate raging in your head is a long time, I can rarely go to sleep with out it coming up in my mind, and I can't shut it off. I had so wished that learning more would end this debate instead the whole situation only added fuel to the fire. Although the real discussion of evolution vs creationism is really for a different post.
Now this is not the only thing that I noticed, I also saw that the people who are normally willing to discuss other religions would refuse to answer questions that didn't pertain the chrisitianity. They would ignore, or respond condisendly to my questions. Yet even after all of this my desire to be accepted by these people over rides my good sense reguarding what is healthy for me. Seeing as every time I see how they ignore me, or react condisendingly to me I start to feel that I am not good enough to be accepted by them, and what little self-esteem that I may have built up goes down the drain. Now logically I know that the way they make me feel is over reacting, yet I've also come to reailze that the emotions I feel are very really even if they do seem illogical or over reacting. I know logically that the reasons they won't accept me have nothing to do with my own self worth, but I just can't seem to seperate it.
For about a month I did not go to the website, trying to build up myself esteem again. However a couple of days I broke down and went back. Nothing has changed, and my hope feels betrayed again. I knew this would be the outcome if I went back, and yet I did anyways. It's so frustrating to feel like I have to be on the outside looking in, because I have a lot of respect for several of these people. And several of them I wanted to get to knwo better, however it's clear they don't want to know me because they can't comprehend how I can be a christian and a human being at the same time. I know my beliefs about christianity are a bit unorthadox, because I don't believe a lot of the super stricked, "do this or go to hell" bull. So I've found that no one is going to accept me for who I am...not the church i used to go to, because I don't accept that kind of bull, and not people on line, because I do otherwise accept christianity. My husband refuses to talk about religion because he finds it uncomfortable, which I can understand, and a lot of my irl friends aren't interested either or I don't really think they understand some of the realizations that I've come to. It's really frustrating to me when I want to discuss something like this in an open minded, friendly mannor, and the responses I feel I am getting are, "you don't talk about these kinds of things" "your stupid for believeing this" "Your stupid for not understanding the real truth" "i'm not interested" now while faith is a very personal thing, it is also a social thing, yes you do need to develop a personal relashonship with god, but learning form others is just as important.
It's also so frustrating when I feel like people are telling me that my point of view, my oppinions, and my way of thinking are invalid because they don't match what everyone else thinks, feels, or does. Why is it such a difficult thing to validate other's beliefs? It doesn't require that you actually belive what they do, just that you accept that they believe it. Which is why it's so frustrating with this website because I want their acceptance so badly, and yet I know I will never be able to get it because almost none of them are willing to change their perceptions of christians.
- Mood:
depressed
Now while this tail is a fanciful prelude to an enaging computer game. I think that the simalarities to that game, and our current economic crisis, in which oil plays a large roll, are rather interesting. I don't think we're gonna end up with a cataclysmic nuclear war, but i'm also not going to ignore the possibility....not that there'd be much I could do either way. But I think the game does say something about our dependence on oil, and paints a pretty graphic portrait of one possibility if we don't come up with some solutions soon.
- Mood:
bouncy
I guess the main thing going through my mind right now is the stuff that's been going on. The life stuff, like frustrations at work, with the stupid people I have to work with. Also watching my little boy get bigger and contemplaiting his future, and along those longs contemplaiting my financial future and hoping that I can get things back under controll. And of course avoiding all of that by playing games, I have a tendancy to deal with stress via a one track means of dealing with things.
- Mood:
bitchy
To day has been a bit rough. I don't know what it is, but with every call I take it seems like customer's listening skills go down hill. I truely don't understand how it is when I tell the customer who can help them, the turn around and continue to demand answers from me, after I've all ready explained....who can help them. Listening doesn't take a rocket science degree, all you have too do is shut your pie hole, and open your ears. So far every call has taken just about the same flow, and I'm tired of having to explain to customers, that I have no access to their information. When I've told this to a customer 3, 4 or 5 times, and yet I still have to go back and explain it several more times... I start to get a little impatient, I don't have the time or energy to spend on some one who is going to fight my attempts to help them. I understand that the things I can do for a customer may not be what they are wanting, but these customers don't seem to realize that if they work with me I will get them to the person who can help them. Why is this concept so difficult to grasp? I am simply getting tired of explaining a concept to some one with the cognitive powers of a 1 year old.
- Mood: bitchy
Several unique features that I have seen include a skill bar that rotates as you use your skills, as well as a refreshing change from the normal classes. They have 3 warrior classes, 3 magic user classes, and 3 rogue type classes. Now I don't know much about these classes, or what the differences will be. I have read a bit, but I need to actually play the game before I'll really be able to form any ideas or oppinions.
Still I just really really wanna play with him. This of course means he will only be playing this and pretty much abandon GW, 9Dragons and Hellgate for the time being. I'm rather sad about the whole thing, as far as that goes. I really enjoy being able to play stuff with him, it's part of what is enjoyable about gaming. I have no idea when Spellborn might be released so I'm facing posibly more then a year of watching him play this with out being able to play with him. I'm just so jealous.
- Mood: jealous
Anora, and Richard Rowntree where the first to discouver the abby, and thus they became abbott and abbess. Yet Anora's background prior to the discouvery of the abby has been a story never fully told before. Anora was the daughter of a successful merchant who often took his daughter a viking. Upon his death Anora set up a beautiful burrial mound, complete with standing stones. Upon these standing stones she traced they story of her father's life, and set up her own right to inherit his buisness. She carries on traveling the trade routes to barter and trade, and bring back the wonders of the world back to her native norway to share with her people.
Anora is still a work in progress, and the main pieces I need to work on is garb. I have a few dresses however they aren't quite right, and I have been trying to translate a pattern I found from swedish. I hopefully will be able to get that together to complete that part of the persona. I have been considering clothing from other parts of asia and middle east , aswell as europe from 600s. I haven't nailed down her time period completely, and I have been contemplaiting the idea that she might also be religious, so as to bring a bit of the either pagan, christian or a mix of both to the abbey.
- Mood: bored
Being a christian I have to wonder about some people who also choose to use the same name for religions that have no resemblences to what I call christianity. Yes I realize that Christianity is going to be different things to different people, and that my oppinions of it are no more or less correct then the next person's. Yet it still drives me nuts when people act out of hate in the name of god and end up portraying as hateful, and judemental. It occured to me, that these christians aren't really following what the Bible says. I mean the bible says not to judge, in a number of places but the main one coming to mind now is the story of the man who says his brother has a speck in his eye, and can't see the plank in his own. Or the story about Mary Magdelene where the pharasees and rabis bring her before jesus and accuse her of being a whore. Jesus's response is "let him without sin cast the first stone."
If yout hink about it, even though a lot of things we do may be considered sins, it's not really my place to tell you that what your doing is wrong. For example some one who is homosexual, sure the the bible says it's wrong...However isn't that something that should be between that person and god only? To be honest I wish that Christians would take a step back and look at the Bible as a guide rather then law that is set in stone and is un changable. The Bible can be many different things to many people, and humans making laws about things that should be a decision made as a personal choice does not help anyone. A person who thinks that abortion is ok, should have the right to one, or a person who wants to enter the holy bonds of marriage with a same sex partner should also have the right to. Yes it's true that god may not like it, but as I've all ready said that needs to be between that person and god. The rest of us butting in and declaring the person sinful is not our place, God is the only one who can judge rightfully. I sure as hell know I have my pitfalls. So why can't people see the Bible for what it is, a guide especially the old testiment where most of the christian ideals about law comes from. A good portion of what's in Leviticus is a guide to avoid dangers that people of the time couldn't have known about. Such as food born illnesses, STDs, or illnesses born from carcasses. People didn't know about germs, or viruses, living the way the bible said to live would ensure that those people were healthier. Today we know how to avoid those things if we cook food properly, or use protection during sex, although I'm not going to assume these activites are now healthy, but I think the main reasons they were harmful are now avoidable.
I think the main problem here is that need to cast judgement comes from our need to feel better then those around us. So we hide our own sins and short comings by pointing those of others. You see this happen so often especially around this time when political campaigning can reach such a hectic pace. You see everything except the issues that matter being the issues considered for some one's compitencey as president. I honestly don't care who is sleeping with who in the political world, I just want to see leadership that is going to steer this country in a possitive direction, instead of railroading it into bankruptcy. But that's a rant for another day.
- Mood:
lethargic
- Mood: depressed
- Mood: depressed
lost in shadows long and tall
searching for the hidding moon
within the day of shades
the water falls and washes
dreams ever so dreary
with soot, and dirt, and hate
the tears that fall are blacker then my rage
If I could see my heart witin
cold black onyx guarded
by a wall of ice
hidden by a mask of joy.
Where love can not touch
what stagnent pools do grow
fresh air does not blow
and life does not grow
- Mood: depressed
I have been working in customer service for the last 4 years. I've seen some extremely bad examples of customer service, and I've seen some extremely bad examples of customers. Over the years I've noticed several habits that customer get into that does not serve them will when attempting to get help for a customer service rep. Now I'm not going to go off on the low points of the corperations that need customer service reps. We all know there are pros and cons for both the corperations, and for the customer's side. In this case I'm bitching about all you stupid, ignorant, impatient customers who seem to think it's your right to get what ever you want. So I'm gonna go down the list of complaints and stunts you've pull in the hopes that maybe some one will wisen up.
1.) Active listening, When you call in I am going to listen to you and ask probing questions to determine what's really going on. Insisting on repeating your story 10 times will not assist me, and telling me your life story is deffinately not going to help either. Also when I am talking you are listening, interupting me is not going to help either of us. Ignoring me then repeating the question I just answered is also not going to help. Demanding answers from me when I have just explained who can answer them is not going to help you. Continually interupting me, and refusing to let me finish a sentence is likely to only result in me ending the call for you. If you are not willing to listen I CAN"T HELP YOU. In short, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth, if your are not willing to listen to me then DO NOT CALL, you'll only waste your time.
2.) Arguing with me will not get you what you want. If I have told you I can't, or am not allowed to do something, then arguing is not going to change that reality. More then likely if I've all ready told you I can't do something, then I have given you the options of what you need to do or who you need to talk to, to deal with your issue. Also arguing with me about those options is not going to change them.
3.) Customer service is about give and take, assisting the customer's needs within the policies set up by the company your working for. Those policies are designed to set boundries. Like a healthy relashonship, companies set up these polices so that they do not get taken advantage of, and so that the customer doesn't get completely trampled on. Therefore if your asking for something that is not allowed by the policies of that company, you will most likely not get it. You will be given alternitive options that are allowed, and if you decide those options aren't good enough, then your going to be on your own in dealing with your issue. Those alternitive options are the company's way of cutting you some slack, if you can give some aswell then you are preventing the company for being able to help you.
4.) Pay attention to the service you are being provided. If you have are using a service you need to stay ontop of what's going on with that service. Ignoring it for months or years at a time, and then calling in to dispute everything that happened during that period of time is only going to get you laughed at. Most companies will give you some where betwen 1-3 months to dispute a bill, if you wait untill after that time period that company will not help you. Along these same lines would be reading any and all documentation provided to you. If you don't read your service agreement then attempt to quote it later to your service rep, expect to get laughed at. If you read documentation provided about how services work then you won't be surprised when it becomes obvious the sales agent sold you a load of bull. There is no excuse for not reading this documentation, the companies provide it so that you can educate yourself on your services, they're not doing it simply to kill more trees.
5.) Credits are not given out simply because the company wants to give you money back. Credits are a tool given to the service representive to correct issue for wich the company is at fault. This tool is not used to credit valid charges that you used, but simply don't want to pay for. Also while there are certain services, such as txt messaging, that are being handled in a manor that cause problems, don't expect to continually get credits for those services. You will be offered alternitives to avoid further charges, and it is not the companies fault if you choose not to accept one of those alternitive options.
6.) I'm going to end on a cliche, "the customer is always right". Now a days this statement is thrown out anytime a customer doesn't get their way, and sadly shows that most people have no idea how the corperate world works. Every company that wishes to do buisness must follow very strict laws set down by state and federal governments, aswell as their own internal policies. This means that customers very well may be told that the company is unable to do something due to one of those bodies of rules. For example, teleservice companies have be restricted from releasing information on the call logs over the phone. This means that reguardless of who you are, you are not going to be able to get that information by calling in to customer care...they can't give it to you. obviously this is for customer protection, because it's easy to call in and pretend to be some one else if you have all the information. So People really need to understand that if they want something the company can't do, the will be given options, they may not be the most prefered, but they will be options the customer can work with. If the customer can't deal with these types of then maybe they should be letting some one else manage their affairs.
- Mood: bitchy
Well I just spent the last 2 hours trying to finish up my introduction post, only to have all that work vanish because of a stupid track ball. I'm rather pissed off, and I've given up on finishing that post at this point. So I think what I'd rather talke about is computer gaming. I have been gaming for just about my whole life. I started off with text based games, I'm sure your rember those games where you had to type in commands to controll the games...wow how old school. Well I still heart those, and muds, I've been thinking about starting up a dragon realms account again.
Right now I'm inbetween games, as far as serious dedication goes. I spent a lot of time playing Guildwars, as well as Vanguard, DDO, NWN 2...but I've burnt myself out on just about everything...cept for wow because I refuse to play that. So right now I'm playing 9 Dragons, it's a new game coming for the plethora of asian producers. They follow the buisness model that cosists of an item mall, while the software and gameplay are free. This is a popular buisness model that I've seen used for a lot of asian mmos, which I kinda like.
Well 9 Dragons is set in feudal china, and is based around the power struggle of the white clans verses the black clans. The White clans support the emperor, and the black clans don't. So its fairly simple representation fo the concept of yin and yang. You see the all female clan of sacred flower balancing out the all male clan of shoalin. You see the rightous Wu-Tang clan balancing the corrupt heavenly deamon clan. Aswell as the selfless League of beggers balancing the greedy brotherhood of theives. Each clan uses a specific type of weapons as their primary, and then a second set of weapons as their secondary. Also each clan has it's own unique animations for their specific type of Kungfu.
There are 4 classes in total and each clan has their own representation of each class. Typically the most popular is the warrior class, the warrior class uses the primary weapons has the strongest attacks and the biggest bonuses to hit points. Next would probably be the healer, who uses kung chi to heal the party members. Healers use the secondary weapons, but can be quite formidible if built correctly. A magical class is represented in the nukers, who can blast their enemies with powerful Kung Chi. They are of course the weakest class physically, and they use bracers instead of the clan's primary or secondary weapon set. The 4th class is called a hybrid class, it's a interesting mixture of the other 3. The hybrid gets some heals, and some nukes aswell as some decent weapon attacks.
My Primary character is a League of Beggers healer, and I have been loving that char. The animations are so whimsical with that clan, anytime she casts a spell she hops around in a circle then does a hip thrust as the spell goes off. When she rests, she clears a spot on the ground then just flops out spread eagle on her back. It's quite amusing to watch. Most of the other clans are far more serious though, especially Wu-Tang which is the clan a lot of the PKers like. Yes, there is pk in this game. As with anygame that has not restricted pk, there is a problem with band of high level pkers travelign around in the lowest level areas where combat is possible. However i have found that being in a band, 9 dragons version of a guild, tends to help solve that problem because most bands take the pk of their members seriously.
- Mood: pissed off
Hello, and welcome to my little web. This is the first serious blog I am going to try to keep, but don't hold yoru breath. Seeing as I am just getting started, the dust may be settling for a while. But while I am working on some of my other ideas for entries let me first introduce myself. I am 26 years old, and have been happily married for the last 5 years. I have a beautiful baby boy who will be turning 2 on may 21st. Now while you can check out my bio and get some idea of who I am, I wanted to take this a little further. I am into the goth lifestyle, aswell as the SCA culture, and I am also a Christian. Yet I am very untraditional in what I think and how I approach things.
- Mood:
sleepy
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